Inmyhead

Thank you, Jenny Baker.

For years I’ve been in and out of therapy. Literally, like a decade. Most of the time it was talk therapy, which would be great for a couple of sessions until it wouldn’t. It really wasn’t until I was joking with a friend about my “OCD traits” that it started to feel like something more than just a quirky personality trait.

I started searching, like I do, for music that could explain what I was feeling. I stumbled upon Jenny Baker’s I Hate it in here and What’s that like? and i cried. And I am not a crier.

It took a couple of weeks but I started looking for help and got the diagnosis.

OCD is so weird. Even as I was recieving the diagnoses I was doubting myself. Like ,am I really this, or did I create these situations in my mind to get the diagnosis? And then my therapist pointed out that the doubting is literally part of it….which makes sense as the doubting disease.

So. Hi. A decade of therapy and here we are. Obsessing over whether the diagnosis was even real turned out to be diagnoses all along.